My Hand of Hashem Story

My name is Cohen Binyaminov, and I had the great privilege to undergo a bone marrow transplant at Memorial Sloan Kettering (MSK) in May 2024. Baruch Hashem, during our 23-day stay in the hospital, we witnessed multiple miracles — clear moments of Divine kindness and guidance that no words can truly capture. From the long months of preparation to the delicate months of recovery, every step revealed how closely Hashem walks beside us, even when the road seems uncertain. Yet one miracle stands out in particular — a story that shows how Hashem’s mercy can overturn nature, bureaucracy, and circumstance when a heart turns to Him completely.

After the transplant, one of the major complications I faced was severely low immunoglobulin (IgG) levels — the antibodies that form the foundation of our immune system. While a healthy person’s level is around 1000, mine was barely 10% of normal, leaving me weak and highly prone to infections. The doctors began intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) treatments, but I suffered serious reactions — fever, chills, rash, migraines, and shortness of breath — forcing them to stop.

They then proposed subcutaneous IGG therapy, injected slowly into the fatty tissue of the stomach — much safer and more tolerable. But the problem was insurance. It was denied again and again — four times — even though the doctors clearly recommended it. We were devastated. I was instructed to live almost in isolation: mask always on, no physical contact beyond elbow bumps, constant sanitizing. Despite all precautions, I still fell ill seven or eight times.

In one of my follow-up visits, I asked my oncologist how much this treatment would cost out-of-pocket. He said, “Cohen, it’s between $15,000 and $20,000 a month.” He suggested I consult with Mount Sinai’s Immunology Department to see if they could help. When I told a few close friends, they immediately offered: “Cohen, get the prescription. We’ll gather ten people and each will contribute toward your treatment. You won’t have to worry.” I was deeply touched. Their generosity and love moved me to tears. But something in my heart held back. I thanked them, but I told them I wanted to try other ways first. That night, I turned to Hashem with a full heart and said:

“Master of the World, these friends of mine are ready to help — and their hearts are pure. But I do not want the $200,000 that could come from them to go to me. These funds could feed widows, help orphans, support converts, and sustain Torah institutions that keep Your world alive. Please, Hashem, I beg You — do not let this kindness be redirected toward me. Let it flow to those who truly need it. I am Your child. Heal me Yourself. Show me that You are my doctor, my provider, and my protector.

During this time, I came across a powerful sefer by Rabbi Nachman of Breslev, called “Shemot HaTzaddikim.” It contains hundreds of names of holy Tzaddikim — from the Tanach, Mishnah, Gemara, Geonim, Rishonim, and Acharonim — each one a vessel of spiritual energy. Rabbi Nachman teaches that reading these names with faith can change nature itself, because each Tzaddik’s soul carries a spark of Divine compassion. The book is about 150 pages long. Every Shabbat, I would recite it from beginning to end with deep intention, whispering each name and believing that each one was a key opening a new gate of blessing.

When I called Mount Sinai, they said they couldn’t accept my insurance and couldn’t schedule me. That’s when RCCS (Rofeh Cholim Cancer Society) miraculously intervened. They arranged the appointment against all odds, even paying $800 for it themselves. When my wife and I met the immunologist, I explained that we came only for consultation and expected to pay privately if needed. She looked at me and said: “Cohen, your results and your history make it clear — you need this treatment. I will make the insurance pay for it.” It was as if an angel had spoken. I left the hospital filled with gratitude, hope, and a quiet certainty that Hashem was moving pieces behind the scenes.

A week later, another denial came — this time because Mount Sinai was considered out of network. I didn’t panic. I opened Shemot HaTzaddikim, placed my hands over it, and began reading again. For five consecutive weeks, I prayed daily with tears and words straight from the heart. “Ribbono Shel Olam, You are the true Healer. You can turn ‘No’ into ‘Yes’ without anyone understanding how. Please do not let me fall into despair or dependence. Let Your Name be sanctified through mercy, not through money.” Meanwhile, the hospital’s advocacy department escalated my case to the state level. Every delay became another test of patienceand faith. But inside, I felt calm — certain that the answer was near.

Then, one ordinary morning, the email arrived: “Your IGG treatment has been approved.” After six months of struggle, four denials, medical setbacks, and exhaustion — the gates of Heaven opened. The very same insurance company that had rejected us four times overturned its decision. We began treatment shortly after, and Baruch Hashem, my body started to strengthen. The fatigue lifted. The infections stopped. Life began to feel alive again.

This wasn’t one miracle — it was a chain of many miracles, each one building on the other, all guided by Hashem’s loving hand. Every obstacle was an invitation to deepen my faith, every delay a chance to speak to Him more honestly. Through the merit of the Tzaddikim, the kindness of friends, the persistence of good people, and the unshakable mercy of Hashem —nature was changed. This is how I began my new year — not just alive, but spiritually renewed, carrying a heart that knows: “When you speak to Hashem as a child to a Father, He answers.”

Thank You, Hashem.

With love and awe,

Cohen Binyaminov